Heavy vs. Zarya
DraconianA= Heavy vs. Zarya '''is a Season 1 Episode 4 of DraconianA's One Minute Melees. Description 2 Fighters! No Research! 60 Seconds! MELEE!!! If you are talking Russians, then you are talking strength. Which one of these Russian gunfighters will win? Intro One Minute Melee! Where all the fights are settled in 60 seconds! '''Two Fighters! No Research! 60 Seconds! MELEE!!! Go! Fight On the second story of a bar in Russia, a bulky man sits down for a drink, with a bulky woman coincidentally sitting next to him. These two are The Heavy and Zarya, respectively. Heavy looks at the pink-haired defender and remarks, "Didn't know steroids were so plentiful." Zarya looks at the sandvich devourer with a face of annoyance. She just looks back at the bar and remarks, "How ironic, it was somebody like you that said that." It takes a moment for Heavy to process that statement, but when he does, he is pissed. "You think you out smart Heavy!?" he responds. Zarya just tries to ignore him, which lasts about 3 seconds until Heavy punches her off of her stool. Heavy, now with Sasha out, shouts, "Let's see you outsmart bullet!" Zarya takes her weapon out, knowing there is only one way to deal with this maniac. Can't back down now! FIGHT!!! Heavy fires his mini-gun, forcing Zarya to run out of the way. Heavy continues to fire, before finally catching up, clipping Zarya in the back. She ducks for cover behind the bar. "Fool!" Yells Heavy as he vaults (using that term loosely) over the bar. He punches Zarya in the face, leading her to return the favor with her own punch, hitting Heavy in the stomach. She vaults (again, term used loosely) over the bar. Heavy follows, and tries to shoot Zarya with his shotgun. Before the impact, Zarya puts up a shield. Laser Power 15... 14... Zarya fires back with her laser, giving Heavy a slight burn on the arm. Heavy ignores it and punches Zarya out the window. This leaves Zarya wounded, though not too much. "Cry some more!" Heavy screams while firing Sasha from the window. Zarya runs from the gunfire and hides behind a shed, allowing her shielding to regenerate. "Little baby scared? Not big Suprize!" Heavy screeches, "Show yourself, you big baby!" In a bit of irony, Zarya comes out again, but fires a purple sphere: the Gravity Well. The Gravity Well draws Heavy towards it, holding him helplessly in midair. Zarya uses that time to lob several laser grenades at Heavy, who is starting to show his pain. The Gravity Well expires, dropping Heavy. Zarya rushes at her downed opponent, but is halted when Heavy, from the ground, fires shots from Sasha at Zarya, hitting her in the chest and forcing her to sit up against the shed with her weapon dropped, just an arms reach away from her. Heavy laughs as he puts his fingers in the shape of a gun. "This will finish you!" he says triumphantly. Zarya desperately reaches for her weapon while Heavy draws closer. Zarya almost has it, and Heavy points his fingers at Zarya. "POW!" Heavy laughs. He laughed so hard that it took him a second to realize that Zarya grabbed her weapon in time to make a shield before he fired. Laser Power 100 She proceeds to put her weapon against Heavys chest. "Uh-Oh." whimpers Heavy. Zarya fires a high powered laser straight through the chest of the mercenary. K.O.! Heavy slumps down, letting Zarya see the chunks of Heavy's shiny, red heart. "What a strange man," Zarya says as she walks off, stopping only to take Heavy's sandvich. Results This Melee's Winner Is... Zarya! Writer's Commentary So, let me start by just saying how inconvenient it was to get this commentary section going. The page wouldn't let me edit it unless I used source editor, something that MP999 (the other person who made a Heavy vs. Zarya) had to point out. With that out of the way, this is actually one of two TF2 vs. Overwatch themed fights I did this season. It actually wasn't until after this fight that I had laid out the rest of my season, where I really just wanted to do Demoman vs. Junkrat since I just really liked the matchup. I have now made it clear to myself to never do the same franchise pairing again within the same season, as I am mapping things out a lot more (I already know the tentative lineup for my third season). This was a fun one to both write and read. I still get a laugh from the fight just beginning with the two throwing insults at a bar, complete with comedically timed punching. The fight itself actually goes from place to place, even if it is only an inside location and an outside location. Now, this is the first fight I did that another creator would also do, that being the aforementioned MP999. I still remember being asked about it, and how the fight itself came out fairly quickly after that. While I do like my fight, I do still feel that MP999's is even better. I don't know if that is just me being hard on myself, or if MP999's is just better. Wait, scratch that, it's the latter. That fight has quite possibly the greatest finishing move I have seen on this fight. You must see it to believe it. |-|MP999= Overwatch vs Team Fortress Two! There’s already a war between these two franchises, but any war will escalate when the Russians get involved! What will win between a giant laser and dakka dakka? (This version was created with permission from DraconianA) Character Select (Tears of a Mandrake) Announcer: Select Your Character! Intro (TF2 Main Theme, 0:00-0:30) Computer: WARNING. PURPLE SPY IN THE BASE. WARNING. PURPLE SPY IN THE BASE. WARNING. Red Soldier: PURPLE spy in the base? What the he... THE BRIEFCASE! The Soldier leaps out of his control chair, picks up his rocket launcher from the computer table, and runs out the control room door, kicking it open as he heads into the hallway. Sirens blare off on the intercom, and the entire area flashes with red warning lights; as fast as he can, the mental mercenary runs down through the base, muttering “protect the briefcase” to himself along the way. When he makes a left and rounds a corner, he spots the Red Scout struggling to open up a large vault door. Red Scout: It won’t budge, and the password won’t work! Soldier: Easy sonny, I changed the password! Step aside! Scout obliges, and Soldier punches in 1-1-1-2 into the pinpad. The vault begins to unlock, just as Scout and Soldier turn around to the sound of thundering footsteps. They belong to the Red Heavy, who is charging down the hallway with his minigun in hand, desperate to fulfill his duty. Red Heavy: PROTECT DA BRIEFCASE!!! Soldier: Slow up, soldier! (Silence) Too late; Heavy crashes into the other two and they all barrel through the unlocked vault door into a large security room. After rolling across the floor in a tangled mercenary hodgepodge, they come to a stop, and look up just in time to see a Hispanic woman in purple climbing into a ceiling vent (Attached to the vent is a sticky note saying “Laser grid out of order. – Engineer”). The woman looks down at the trio, and smirks. Sombra: Boop! With that, she climbs into the vent, holding onto the briefcase, leaving the three down below to bask in their failures. Scout: Oh man. Oh man. She got the briefcase. She’s dead. If she’s not dead, we’re dead. She is SO dead. Soldier: Easy there! We need a plan of attack! Heavy: I shoot down da ceiling. Scout and Soldier: NOOOO!!! The two struggle to keep Heavy from holding up his minigun. As they struggle, Soldier mentions something about damaging the briefcase and collapsing the building, and Scout tries to explain that the ceiling was just freshly painted, but Heavy ignores the two as he tries to aim his weapon. Eventually, and without thinking, Heavy yells out and drops his gun. Grabbing Soldier and Scout by the heads with his large hands, he quickly snaps their necks 180 degrees, drops the bodies, and picks up his gun, before suddenly stopping. Heavy: Wait minute... oops. (Rocket Fiasco, 0:00-0:20) The next scene is Heavy leaving the vault and shutting the door, where the bodies of his comrades have been hastily shoved under the table. He locks the vault, and then puts up a “Do Not Disturb” sign on one of the handles. Turning around, he brushes his hands, hoists up his gun again, and prepares to march off. Heavy: I’ll find you, girl. As he steps into the hallway intersection, he hears a deep female voice coming from down the hall, and quickly takes cover behind the corner. Ears perking up, he tries to hear what the voice is saying. ???: She was definitely here, and from the sounds of it, she stole something. Da. Da. She can’t be far. Da. I’ll find her. Heavy: Not if I find her first. Heavy leaps around the corner and points his gun at the mysterious woman, then gasps. (Hungry Eyes, 1:02-1:38) He catches sight of a large muscular woman with short pink hair, donning a large suit of combat armour. Heavy’s heart slows down as his pupils turn into hearts and his jaw drops in a goofy smile. In slow motion, Zarya puts down her com, and shakes her head to flick her hair. Almost batting her eyes, she looks towards Heavy and gives him a smile. This is enough to make Heavy freeze and fall over backwards, and Zarya leaves. As she walks away, Heavy sits back up, shakes his head, picks himself up and jogs back to her, trying to talk to her as she heads to the exit. (Silence) Heavy: Hey! Who are you? Zarya: I am Aleksandra Zaryanova. I am here to find and capture the intruder, then I will be on my way. Heavy: Perhaps we can vork together? Zarya: No thank you. Heavy: I insist. I must get briefcase back. Zarya: I will be taking that briefcase. Heavy stops, and wonders why everyone wants the damn briefcase as Zarya steps into a large garage, with a Russian helicopter waiting just outside. (Russian Bonetrousle, 0:00-0:19) Just as she’s about to reach it, its side panels get shredded with bullet holes, and she turns around to see smoke emanating from the barrels of Heavy’s minigun. Heavy: Our briefcase. Next 227 bullets won’t miss. Zarya smirks, and off of her back, hoists up her own massive weapon, the Particle Cannon, and points it at the Heavy. As it charges up with a high-pitched noise, Heavy’s eyes go wide, and he mutters “''cyka blyat''” to himself. Announcer: За славу союза! Ready! 'FIGHT!!!' (Russian Bonetrousle, 0:44-1:44) Who are you rooting for? Zarya! The Heavy! Draw! 60 The Particle Cannon opens fire, and Heavy ducks and rolls to the side just as the energy beam shoots by him, carving a burn into the wall at the end of the garage. Ending his roll in a kneeling position, Heavy takes aim and fires several more bullets at Zarya; she smirks and generates a large blue dome around her emanating from her weapon. The bullets harmlessly bounce off this forcefield as Zarya charges up another shot, and Heavy barely ducks underneath it, grimacing as the purple laser lightly cooks the top of his head. 53 Misha goes on the run, jogging through the warehouse at a surprisingly brisk pace while Zarya switches tactics. Hoping to catch her enemy behind the crates he’s running through, she lobs several charged shots in an arc; they rain down on the Heavy, who manages to avoid a few before one explodes right underneath his feet and sends him flying face-first into a steel wall. He gets up and spits out a tooth before pouting and putting down his gun. Heavy: Block this, woman. 43 He grips the sides of the giant metal storage container he landed behind, and grunts as he lifts it up above his head. At the end of the garage, Zarya lets out a small wolf whistle at the Red’s display of strength, before he tosses it towards her. Checking her weapon and seeing a bright blue charge, the tank fires a graviton surge at the ground right in front of her; it changes the path of the crate and brings it down hovering right in front of her, and she promptly Sparta-kicks it away. As soon as she does, however, Heavy leaps over it with his gun in hand, having used the toss as a distraction. Before Zarya can react, the butt of his Minigun smashes into her head, sending her staggering back. 32 Heavy walks up to her, flexes his left, and delivers a powerful left hook to Zarya’s jaw. She takes it, but gives no further ground, and instead flexes her own left to deliver another powerful punch right back into Misha’s face. In retaliation, he swings with a right, and is met with a right; each punch exchanged lets out a shockwave that echoes through the garage, but a thought-bubble appears in the air above Heavy’s head after the fourth blow, where he remembers the advice of a beloved teammate. Medic: Misha, you must learn to use your head. Heavy smiles, grips a surprised Zarya by the shoulders, and headbutts her so hard she not only hits the ground, but slides a dozen feet on her back. 24 Zarya quickly puts up her particle shield again before another storm of bullets makes its way towards her; the barrel of the Heavy’s beloved lead dispenser is spinning so fast it can hardly be made out. As bullet after bullet is shot, and dollar after dollar is spent, both Ruskies notice the shield beginning to crack as it reaches its limit. Heavy, still firing with one hand somehow, puts his right hand into his pocket and withdraws it as a finger gun which he aims at the shield. Heavy: POW! The shield shatters and Zarya goes flying into the wall of the garage. As she gets up, she spots the Heavy running at her with the force, and sound effect, of a freight train, and instinctively ducks underneath his punch, before hitting him with an uppercut to the jaw. 14 Staggering the giant, Zarya uses her cannon as a melee club to smack him about the head a few times. When Misha tries to hit her with his own Minigun, Zarya grabs him by the arm, yanks the gun out of his hands and tosses it several feet to the side. With her cannon pointed directly at the Red’s chest, Zaryanova launches a pulse directly into his chest, and smacks his face to the ground before it explodes and sends him flying a large distance away. 9'' After a painful landing on his head, Heavy, heavily winded, nods to himself and pulls the Sandvich out of his jacket, ready to gain more energy. As he opens his mouth to take a bite out of the delicious deli, Zarya utters her catchphrase offscreen. '''Zarya': Gravity kills. The sound of an electric generator goes off, and the Sandvich starts shaking in Heavy’s hand as his eyes grow wide. To his horror, the Sandvich leaps out of his hands before he can take a bite, and it flies directly into the heart of the Gravitational Surge planted by Zarya. Aghast at watching his snack disappear, Heavy is helpless, and caught by surprise when he himself also starts flying towards the generator. 2'' Zarya stomps up to the generator as Heavy flies towards it, and she gives a last flex of her arm. Misha’s screams of fright are cut short when he flies directly into her path... and receives a powerful, armour-reinforced, kick to the groin, which is so painful even the announcer develops a high-pitched squeaky voice to signify the end of the match. 'K.O!!!' ''(Love Hurts, 0:20-0:45) Heavy falls to the ground clutching his Soviet Unions as he fails to let out any noise aside from a small squeak. Slowly, the Sandvich falls into Zarya’s open hand, and she takes a bite out of it before tossing the rest to Heavy, who is too stunned to respond; it plops against his face and falls open on the ground. Zarya turns around and makes her way back towards the bullet-ridden helicopter, before stopping to think for a second. Smiling, she takes out a pen and paper from her hip and scribbles a note on it before scrunching it up and tossing it to Heavy. The helicopter takes off, with Heavy still lying on the ground on the verge of crying. As he whimpers, the wind blows the note in front of him, and it unfurls, revealing a phone number. Amidst all his pain, Heavy cracks out a small smile. Results (Zarya Victory Theme) THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS... ZARYA!!! Misc. *For the rest of MP999's Season Three, click here: User:MP999 *For MP999's Death Battles, click here Category:'Video Games' themed One Minute Melees Category:Overwatch vs TF2 themed One Minute Melees Category:Tank vs Tank themed One Minute Melees Category:Gun Fights Category:Same country of origin themed One Minute Melees Category:MP999 Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:'Battle of the Genders' themed One Minute Melees Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Rivalry themed One Minute Melees Category:2017